Danger Zone: Being the Boss’ Favourite

Favouritism is everywhere—from being your parent’s favourite child at home to a boss’s buddy at work.

Being the ‘Favoured One’ seems to be the most enviable position for many on the work front. Everyone wants to garner their share of attention, praise, and promotion for good work. We work hard to be recognised, appreciated, and to secure more on-the-job benefits.

Sometimes, it is worth considering whether favouritism at work hinders our personal and professional growth as individuals. Does it play a part in helping us attain recognition? When work success is achieved (for now) through favouritism by the favourer (i.e.: the boss), how long will it last?

Favouritism comes with its fair share of negative criticisms and scope for failure. While it feels great to be in your bosses’ favour, your colleagues might feel differently. Rather than dismissing them as “sour grapes”, objectively weighing your colleagues’ opinions can help you ascertain if you are truly deserving of the credit. Through this, it helps you draw a distinction between your real and accounted worth. Do your colleagues attribute your manager’s high esteem in you to recent efforts or are you putting up a pretentious front? Do they think you are deserving because you are a consistently good performer who happens to be well-liked by others?

Ms Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job says: “The more you're singled out and given special treatment, the more risk associated with securing the cooperation you need from your team. It can put an overall strain on your productivity because your work should always be the focus. Your office is not a popularity contest—and when it is, your days of glory can be fleeting."

Ruining Workplace Culture with Favouritism

Most organisations (irrespective of their size and magnitude of operations) encourage and promote favouritism at work to get the job done on time. Favouritism has its share of legal implications and inadvertently sows discord among colleagues by inviting mistrust and gossip.

Mr Robert Whipple wrote: “Leaders who practice favouritism in the workplace have no chance to build a culture of trust.” Dr Anitha Ramachander warns about the consequences of favouritism at work as, “very much discernible in terms of endorsing and promoting someone unduly. Workplace favouritism gives a notion to the other employees that a person is treated in a better way for no valid or convincing reason.” 

A survey conducted by Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business found that “92 per cent of senior business executives have seen favouritism at play in their promotions processes, including their own companies (84 per cent) while  25 per cent of these leaders admitted that they had practiced favouritism themselves.”

How do you balance friendship with professionalism if you are friends with your boss? “If you have a natural affinity, genuinely like each other, and want to have a social bond, I think that’s worth cultivating, as it would be with other co-workers,’’ suggests Dr Ben Dattner, an organisational psychologist and author of The Blame Game: How the Hidden Rules of Credit and Blame Determine our Success or Failure. “But I wouldn’t make a special effort beyond what you’d do with any other co-worker. That would take on a Machiavellian tinge, which I think you don’t want. A relationship that’s based on you making a power play isn’t likely to be a strong one, and you run a higher risk of it ending in disaster, especially if your boss senses that you’re getting close only to advance your own career.”

            How to Handle Becoming the Boss’ Favourite

1. Stay modest and look for opportunities to learn. Some strut around the office with their heads held high. That is not the way to endear themselves to their colleagues. Nobody wants to be with the “Mr/Ms Know-it-All.” Sometimes it’s better to be silent and look for opportunities to learn while staying modest at all times.
2. Do not abuse the confidence placed in you. The biggest misconception employees have is that their job security is guaranteed, and some slack in work is permissible when they become confidants to their bosses. Smart bosses test whether their employees can keep confidential secrets and avoid discussing them with their co-workers.
3. Avoid complacency and taking advantage of your favouritism status. You can quickly lose the trust earned if you do not continue to work relentlessly to prove your worth, and this requires great work ethic and humility at all times. The more favouritism you enjoy, the more your actions will be scrutinised. If being a consistent performer in the past earned you credit and recognition, you can be sure that any complacencies or slack in performance would immediately draw the attention of your manager.
4. Be prepared to take on new challenges. Sometimes, knowing that you are good at what you do can undermine your willingness to take up new challenges. Most people, having tasted success and finding their strengths, prefer not to step out of their comfort zone to take on new challenges. This can significantly hamper your prospects for growth and cost you your next promotion or pay raise.
5. Refuse gifts and benefits that come with favouritism. It might be hard to turn down benefits such as flexible work hours; choice assignments; and substantial pay rises that come with being favoured. But when offered, take a step back and relook at your contributions towards organisational growth. Be sure to maintain strict professional associations and set clear boundaries.
6. Avoid pushing your own agenda and self-interests. Being favoured may provide some additional bargaining leeway. However, be careful not to take advantage of it or offer unwanted advice to your manager unnecessarily.

Favouritism comes at a price. Anyone who endeavours to be the boss’ pet without adverse consequences must be prepared to work hard consistently. To emerge as an effective leader, one must always remain humble with the willingness to learn and take up new challenges.

Author: Mr Shawn Wong began his career as a recruitment consultant at TBC HR Consulting (S) Pte Ltd in 2012. He currently leads a group of recruitment consultants who handle recruitment solutions in various industries.

This article first appeared on TODAY'S MANAGER (print).